I see this teasing as psychological cover that I provide to myself. How it works? I do not know what I am exactly. Many of us don’t know this thing. Everybody is in process. Many people make adjustment with such questions. For many, such question never emerges. But, I face the question strongly and I often fail to get any convincing answer, any way that my conscious perfectly accepts. So by teasing others, by being sarcastic, I try to underline my existence. It is like being in a crowd and yet being unsure that you are really present over there. There are two ways by which one finds one’s place in crowd. Either one has to know where he is exactly or one has to specify where other people are. Sarcasm and cynicism provides solution by making other looking inferior. Others may be inferior or they are just overlooking my nuisance, my point is served. For some moments, I feel, I am different.
There is other part to this. I avoid talking with those whom I feel are focused and have found answer for themselves. They might laugh at me or I myself will start feeling more inferior about myself. So I seek soft targets.
As I think more and more, I think ignorance has some virtue in it. Ignorance romanticizes state after knowledge. And, there is no point in knowing what knowledge or what life or what world is. It is like tale of forbidden fruit. One who eats it gets into the trap of metaphysics which leads to either self-destruction or self-delusion. The true joy is in creativity or/and curiosity. Closing these doors and waiting for life to come through thinking is useless.
Often business are criticized for being selfish. But, same selfishness when used in collective form is considered right. There are contradictions in every moral argument. And, it is fundamentally contradictory because it has no role in survival of human being. Philosophers or thinkers or so called social scientist secure their existence on the efforts of others. They create such an environment that those who are actually chasing their curiosity or creativity are called heartless or selfish. And it is of their help to keep this propaganda alive. They then prove, by system of arguments which is generated by them only, to justify their need for society. Actually, they are like a mole or unwanted part in society.
I have seen this ‘they are so dumb’, ‘they are just selfish’ attitude in so many social workers, activists. And, it is their psychological need. It gives them sense of self-search. By calling others inferior, they make assumption about where they are. It works as solution over their frustration or sense of being nowhere.
One day when I was reading my own previous writing. I have called society a myth. I think it is not that wrong. There is point in being selfish because that is the key to survival. What is interesting is when selfishness colludes and when it takes form of ‘I will grab as much I can’. As human, we have understood long back that we have to learn skills of acting. And, we so expertly change roles that we do not feel it. But, once one realizes this shift of selfishness, it exerts a tension on one’s self. This is burden of knowledge.
Why it is futile to try to explain any psychological phenomenon because the only lab one actually has is one’s own mind. And, it is too an unfamiliar terrain. One cannot really understand other’s mind. One can observe, recognize pattern but cannot provide any systematic explanation. And, trying to provide such systematic explanations is harmful. Because as time passes, these tentative explanations are regarded as hard truths. And, as situation transforms, psychological responses suddenly changes and all previous ‘truths’ are now lies. It harms our natural uncertainty responding system which is based on creativity and curiosity.
Future has its value being uncertain. Predictions make our creative and curious abilities lazy. And, they take away charm of responses which come from real roots.
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