Encounters with Reality

Every day, at the end, I feel that I am increasingly puzzled by the life. May be it is not so worth to search a coherent meaning for life. It is so random, so pattern less that one can’t find any analogy for it. But I have got some things, some learnings from this life. I have to check out my collection time to time as I usually forget what I have and what I not. But yet I am troubled by one single unique question, why I am living? Is there any purpose that can work as my reason for this life? And if there is not any purpose why I am not able to be so bold to end this life. And this is root cause for so many things which trouble me. But why I get troubled? Why I can’t just watch things happening around me and stop to make sense of them? Why I can’t? Why? I feel happy when I get someone with I can talk some sense. It doesn’t mean that all other with whom I don’t enjoy talking are senseless. However, you are defined by default in this life. You never define yourself, bu

I often go for treks, walking or cycling. but i can't answer myself why i am doing this? i feel nice, i can enjoy openness in the air, a change from routine city life but yet j always felt that this is not the environment which i can choose to live forever. i always had the sense that i am trying to run from my life. this time when i had gone to naneghat with a team of new trekers(most of them were knowledge-arrogant engineers), i can't kept myself away from their exurbence but yet i found myself bit odd man in them. they were so unaware if some stark realities around them and yet they don't had any sense that they are actually not living. may be i am turning to be a person who is making judgments all the time.