EVERY DAY AT THE END

Every day, at the end, I feel that I am increasingly puzzled by the life. May be it is not so worth to search a coherent meaning for life. It is so random, so pattern less that one can’t find any analogy for it. But I have got some things, some learnings from this life. I have to check out my collection time to time as I usually forget what I have and what I not.

But yet I am troubled by one single unique question, why I am living? Is there any purpose that can work as my reason for this life? And if there is not any purpose why I am not able to be so bold to end this life. And this is root cause for so many things which trouble me. But why I get troubled? Why I can’t just watch things happening around me and stop to make sense of them? Why I can’t? Why?

I feel happy when I get someone with I can talk some sense. It doesn’t mean that all other with whom I don’t enjoy talking are senseless. However, you are defined by default in this life. You never define yourself, but you get defined by things around you. So it is set with whom I enjoy and with whom I can’t. I never try to think who has defined it. I am accepting randomness.( thanks to Taleb)

Comments

Joy

i am alone, somehow at the balance of memories and dreams, some encounters with reality practically, a room for me, a laptop, movie, food, coffee, cigarettes and loneliness to get kick out of everything.... fucking nice life! missing a mate or complete loneliness!!

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