Skip to main content

night among stars

when you sleep with your back to cold, pleasant earth and your eyes fixed somewhere among the stars, you know that either you are feeling happy without any bound or you are out of yourself.
still you sleep like that. because you want to be so unknown to you, that even you won't be able to identify yourself. such un-identity is difficult. and that's why one sleeps under the stary sky with cool wind around and memories, imaginations storming in the head and some unknown pressure mounting on you, trying to crash you down.
but then why you sleep watching stars? one can sleep putting his head under the pillow. one can get drunk or one can let loose oneself with someone dear. no! one doesn't do these things when one doesn't even know what is it. there is nothing to tell, nothing to hide, nothing to repent and even nothing to ask for. what is it!
may be it is space and time around yourself which is not yours. and, hence one has to look into stars. they are there. some are at one place for ages. some are moving slowly. some are not even known. some are frequent visitors. and, they too don't have time space of themselves.
what you do when you feel like part of big giant machine, following it's laws without any attention to small lives which don't want to be ruled? what you feel when you see your actions are unwanted, meaningless or responseless in the environment? what if you feel that you are just product of actions and decisions taken in your absence?
you do nothing! because you can not. you go. you try all your means to console yourself, you try to erect yourself, you try to fight, you try to feel totally devastated, and nothing works. some sparks of life remaining can't let you die, they can't let you give up. so you do nothing but you sleep with your back to cold, pleasant earth and your eyes fixed somewhere among the stars.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Past

Past is difficult thing to leave. It becomes even more difficult if past that you are trying to forget was what your identity for all years passed. The memories you are trying to erase are what your habits and words for all time passed. It is difficult burden to throw away and more difficult if you know what you are throwing away is still dearer to you. I never made peace with the fact that I worked for RSS. What kept me there are persons who designed the organizations, curtailed and fitted themselves to any task and impulsive responses whenever any social catastrophe happened. What made me to withdraw myself is restricted view towards human being. Sketching human being as religious entity, putting unnecessary benevolence or cruelty on him or holding concepts about humanity much more worth than humanity which created them are not my cup of teas. But even though I fragmented in my attachments, what never changed is my respect and attraction for creative organization of human beings ...

Incompleteness

Leading life logically is what philosopher tried to do for many years. It doesn’t mean they actually lived so. But, somehow, through all their works, they tried to establish some or other cage of thoughts and presented life as some wild but tamed animal inside. How that animal got inside the cage was what not they tried to explain. They elegantly, skillfully and precisely described what to do it once it is caged. But, somehow what matters to most of the living mortals, like me, is how to cage it or whether is it possible at all to cage it. They keep mum, a sacrosanct silence. What is problem in perceiving life system with some tailor made premises? And, if one does not do so, then what is the way to explain social organization? What do we mean by ‘explain’? ‘Explanation’ is bringing something unknown into known. We bring it by various means. One uses analogies, examples, anecdotes or any part of known information to put a frame around unknown. If this frame fits, one ‘knows’. I...

Joy

i am alone, somehow at the balance of memories and dreams, some encounters with reality practically, a room for me, a laptop, movie, food, coffee, cigarettes and loneliness to get kick out of everything.... fucking nice life! missing a mate or complete loneliness!!