Skip to main content

Reflections on conversations:1

I saw someone who looks like you. (Excitement in her voice)
Hmm. (cold response)
He spoke like you. Looks are similar. Even your voices are similar! (she poured more)
Do you know how I exactly look? Do you know how I sound?
(She was taken by this sudden philosophical looking question.)
You are mad. You can speak anything, just for the sake of anything.
(Silence, wait that conversation will be initialized, passive participation)
I am saying what I am feeling. I seek myself through what others have to say about me. I don’t recognize myself. I cannot imagine my face. I won’t be able to describe myself if someone asks me to do so. And then I am called liar.
So I plead to those who give me some signs near to my existence. I ask to carry me to my place. But no one does it.
(Now silence, not even anticipation.)
But then I am happy that I do not identify myself much. May be, by this fact, I can start each day waiting for this most happening event. I tried few masks, but sooner or later, they tried to erase my face. I don’t know what my face looks like, but I surely sense my face. After all, it is skin and it is strongly connected to my flesh. Well, the point is I threw away those masks.
But now when I try to walk with my face, and ask someone to describe it, I am often told that please throw this mask. It is very unreal.
Then what is real?
Now I have to look in mirror, but what if mirror is also wearing a mask and it is not a mirror itself. (Now she is no more at other end and he has entered the enigmatic region of soliloquy. When one talks with oneself, assuming he is talking with someone else, everything seems so convenient. )
Now he will keep on talking….. I don’t want to listen. After all, it is free world this way….

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Black Mirror for the local train

 Black Mirror is the poison I look forward to consuming. The ideas of humanity in the increased scope of technology are sometimes so well-portrayed that the mark of philosophical deadlock stays on one’s mind for long. With these expectations, I was bit disappointed with the first two episodes of the latest season (released in June 2023). First one was fine, though utterly predictable for those with long association with series. The second one is not even a Blank Mirror episode. By just being a psychological thriller, it doesn’t even the fit to the theme Black Mirror has explored. Finally, it hit home with the third one. There it is, a question, who we are, staring in our face as the story unfolds. The episode reminded me of a cynical imagination I have nursed for long. While commuting in suburban local trains of Mumbai, I have always wondered about it when I have felt crushed right at the start of the day by a giant wave of increasingly homogenous human existence. What if two ind

Joy

i am alone, somehow at the balance of memories and dreams, some encounters with reality practically, a room for me, a laptop, movie, food, coffee, cigarettes and loneliness to get kick out of everything.... fucking nice life! missing a mate or complete loneliness!!

Camus’ ‘The Plague’, a podcast and some thoughts about religion

For last 100 days, I am living in the shadow of epidemic. What exactly is this shadow? Part of this shadow, a small part, is death. For my age, the threat of death is not large. The great part of the shadow is possible agony of being helpless if I or my dear ones must access the health facilities. From what neighborhood WhatsApp and Social media gossip is, the hospital bed is new elite consumption. It is only one’s access to influence that can fetch a Covid-19 patient in my town a hospital bed in my town. Patients are being admitted to hospitals in other towns, sometimes 60 or more km away. Relatives often have to frantically call hospital after hospital, seek any outlet for help, all the while worrying about prospect of the patient. Possibility of this experience is the great part of the shadow. The remaining part is the boredom induced by being stuck at home.             Plague is not really a great metaphor for Covid-19. Covid-19 is far too less lethal than what Plague was. But we