Why Philosophy

We form beliefs. And, they are useful. They provide us initial set of judgments for any choice. It is human system to reduce uncertainty to set of possible and then most possible alternatives. Somehow, in courses with less creative exercises, like Philosophy or Development Studies, where most of the times bored with life souls put light on issues which are useless for working world, an argument is made about pluralist concerns. They debate about End and Means. They debate about happiness and what gives us that Happiness. They criticize pursuit of wealth. And, to exhibit that they are no less intelligent than wonder working Physicists or Engineers, they create moral dilemmas and prove how unsolvable they are, even by them. So they take this un-solvability of their ‘discipline’ as flag of intellectual victory on enemy which is never there(who will fight with this intellectual samurais, fighting for all mortals who do not understand that all their decisions are ‘monoconcentretic’ while they have to be ‘decision and no-decision at the same time’?) with great glibness, ability to twist logic by using anecdotes and dexterousness of bamboozle audience/reader with inescapable laps of metaphysical grand-pri. If these courses have not come into my way, then I might have not bothered to ‘praise’ these wonders of nature. But, since, being cursed of philosophical thoughts, I often encounter such preachers. But, they help me in some way. They show me how deep the sink is.
But then why philosophy? Why do I need to seek the purpose of the game? Why can’t I just play it or quit it? May be, I am supposed to be commentator or umpire! But, then I want to be good one. I want to decide or comment when I can form firm belief, although for the time till it get disproved. And, what is the way to form believes? There is no logic which can lead us to form belief. Conviction is trigger for Logic, not the other way round. So, I observe people. I see reflections of my actions, emotions in them. Explaining them is what I take as explaining myself. There is something which I might not get reflected in any other individual. But, then that will serve as my fixed point. That is what I am.
Explaining human actions with some non-human principal is unacceptable. Our questions about ourselves are our own creations. So they have their solutions in our creations. I am puzzled by why somebody mostly like me behaves in a way different than me? Why he feels which I do not feel directly? Can some principles answer these? No. it is continuous observations of what is happening around us and putting these observations on own belief system to form a stand can answer it for myself. Circling in pluralism or accepting world as it is ridiculous and will never lead to decision. If we closely look to our ‘understanding’, we will see our limitations. I understand present moment when it becomes past. I understand ‘here’ when I move to a place other than what I want to see. And, knowing past is not at all useful to live uncertainty. We cannot do what is right. We can avoid doing what has been proved wrong. And, that’s the only help past and observations can offer.
I have not answered why philosophy. I hate it, right from my heart. But, then I encounter something which makes me to go back and think about worth of this life, mine and around me. today, when I spend most of the day with innocent happiness of just watching what is happening around me, talking on what I really feel and not loosing myself in dream-memory trap, I thought at least today, I won’t be bothered by the chasing ‘why’. When I was walking towards railway station, I saw one person selling balloons. The stick in his hand, where all balloons are tied was almost full. And, there are many shops of modern, expensive toys in the bazaar around him. Nobody was looking at him. When I looked at him, he was caressing one of his balloons. And, his eyes were expressing what he feared very clearly. There was not much sell. And, those balloons are hanging, colorful, cheerful and yet, such a joyous expression cannot earn life. Where does he stand in this city? Where are the children who ask for balloons? His face made me think again of what this whole game is. It is unavoidable.
It is one small girl selling flowers that I still remember. She kept urging and running after the car to buy flowers from her. And, then I encountered with many who are searching for some small real happiness and, this city has no corner where they got it. Still they live, still they strive and I still think, why, why do I live?